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Joke of the Day

"Walking around Brooklyn, slapping people's brunches to the ground."

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"Even if I had a refrigerator with glass doors; I would still stand there with the door open."
"The problem with traveling into the future is that it's hard to determine the date because newspapers no longer exist."
"Whats the difference between a regular horse and a police horse? The police horse has an extra asshole on its back. :>"
"What's the best thing about being a meth addict? Only four more sleeps 'til Christmas!"
"A psychic sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building... He says ""You're about to jump from Empire State Building tomorrow."""
"How can you spot a racist in a crowd? They're the ones shouting ""Black Lives Matter!"""
"What do Canadian girls have? Boobehs"
"I like the word ""panties"" so much I'm going to start using it in place of ""cool."" Friend: Check out my new car! Me: Oh man, that's panties."
"Three things you should not watch being made are sausages, laws, and your little brother."