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Joke of the Day

"Optimus Prime: so it's settled. I'll be a huge cool truck, Bumblebee you're a camaro. Any questions? [Dan the station wagon raises his hand]"

"Wait...the ""S"" in ASAP doesn't stand for ""Slowly?"" Shit. This has cost me 27, maybe 28 jobs."

"What do you say to a robot with a good looking bum? Nice Assimo."

"You can learn a lot from a woman wielding a knife. For example, your top running speed."

"What do salads and Mexicans have in common ? They both benefit America!"

"Project Manager Humor Why do Vampires make poor project managers? Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders. (why yes, I am a dad why do you ask?)"

"Ok I won't subliminally ask any more subtraction problems, but I only did it 6 or maybe 3 times. What's the difference?"

"If the lever on your toaster breaks off and your bread starts burning, can you pry it out with a butter knife? The answer may shock you."

"The Packers or the Colts. Take your Pick"

"If you date someone working for the federal government and then break up, does he become FedEx? #oksorry"