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Joke of the Day

"If you date someone working for the federal government and then break up, does he become FedEx? #oksorry"

"What did Billy Mays do on 12/31/1998 Partied like it's 19.99!"

"I named my cat ""Curiosity"". He killed himself ... Nine times."

"I went to the zoo the other day. It was completely empty except for a single dog... It was a Shih Tzu."

"Why didn't the pigs eat the rotten eggs in their feed trough? They were saving the best for last."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To murder link"

"Damn girl are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and wont shut the fuck up."

"Have you heard the joke about my penis? Nevermind, no one ever gets it."

"Doctor's office A man walk's into the doctor's office to get a check-up. The doctor tells the man he needs to quit masturbating. The man asks why . The doctor says, ""So I can examine you""."

"Marriage. When dating goes too far."