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Joke of the Day

"Why are Boy Scouts safest when travelling with a senior? They'll always have dry wood on hand to start a fire - this came to me in a dream... maybe it should have stayed there? *shrugs*"

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"If a buzzing insect saw the alphabet, would... a bee see?"
"Where was the NSAs wire taps when the McCallisters were leaving messages w all the neighbors that Kevin was abandoned & alone? Thanks Obama."
"REAL math joke At a party vectors V and W see vector V+W poking in his head and asking: ""Can I join?"". ""Yeah."", V and W reply; ""It's a closed party..."""
"I asked my North Korean friend how it was up there he said he couldn't complain..."
"Wife:What is 10 years with me? Wife:What is 10 years with me? Husband:A second. Wife:What is $1000 for me? Husband:A coin. Wife: Ok give me a coin. Husband:Wait a second"
"[Job interview] -Are you going to just keep spinning around in that chair? Sorry. I didn't think we started yet."
"What did Mozart and Beethoven do whilst in the grave? Decompose"
"What are 3 things a black man can't get? A fat lip, a black eye, and a job."
"What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede ? A great walkie-talkie !"