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Joke of the Day

"Ever check your Facebook early in the morning where you have to close one eye because the screen is too bright?"

"We all bring something different to the table. I have all of my teeth and can read."

"How do you make an Italian deaf? Tie their hands behind their back."

"I've lost a friend after we chopped up a man from Bangkok together We severed Thais"

"Things that have occurred in history since the Chicago Cubs last won a World Series... I had an ice cream cone. That I dripped all over myself."

"Why doesn't Sherlock Holmes pay any income tax? Because he makes so many brilliant deductions."

"I've done it! I've solved the question we have all asked since the dawn of time. Where do we go when we die? In the ground."

"When I found out my toaster wasn't water proof... I WAS SHOCKED!"

"Son, i don't think you are cut out to be a mime. Son: Was it something I said?"

"My social life. /thread"