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Joke of the Day

"I finished a sudoku today so I'm ready to do your taxes."

"Why is Victoria Beckham not in a commercial for Old Spice'?"

"How do you turn soup into gold? You add 24 carats!"

"Why do watermelons have water in Them? Because they are planted in the spring!"

"Avoid unwanted pregnancies by using the ""pull out"" method where you pull out an acoustic guitar at a party & no one will have sex with you."

"If you're walking on sunshine, please adjust your dosage accordingly."

"What did Japan say when it heard the US had an atomic bomb? Did you make that Fermi?"

"Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It's already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go."

"What do you call a butt-naked person on the moon? An Ass-tronaut"

"[NSFW] A good crime sentence is... ...be made to fuck a ratchet"