224685
Joke of the Day
"What's worse than being uncomfortable at the hospital? Being made comfortable."
Next Joke
"Started with the tips of my fingers.. We got more into it, my fingers got deeper. She says ""babe take off your ring its hurting me"", I respond ""you mean my watch?"""
"I got a little ass last night!... My finger went through the toilet paper!"
"My life feels like a test I didn't study for and everybody is being a d*ck and not letting me cheat."
"How do zombies communicate in times of war? Cryptic code."
"I'm going to go out on a limb here and fall off obviously."
" And I would walk 500 ft. and I would walk 500 more/ Just to be the man who stayed 1000 ft away as ordered by the court "
"How can you teach your child about adversity if you don't leave a diaper unchanged once in a while?"
"How do you know if a homeless man has a girlfriend? He has two clean fingers."
"What do you get when you play a country song backwards? You house back, your wife back, your dog back, your truck back..."