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Joke of the Day

"Man plus woman Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage"

"I just had to leave the office kitchen because two co-workers were talking about tea bags and I'm 12"

"My love for you is like an hourglass I always finish on the bottom."

"What's the difference between Reddit and 9Gag? About 5 seconds."

"I can hear my girlfriend in the other room cleaning up my cat's pee. As soon as I think she's done, I'm going to yell out ""I'll do it babe!"""

"when i'm stressed i close my eyes and imagine i'm on a beach, neurotically pacing back & forth within a very small section of that beach"

"[birdwatching] Ah, let us behold the majesty of the Bald eagle. And let us acknowledge the social awkwardness of the Combover eagle."

"What happened to the tree after it caught fire? It became entally handicapped"

"Why doesn't men use make-up or perfume? Because we're beautiful and smell good!"

"Did you hear about the proctologists collectible Corvettes? He wrecked em'."