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Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just beat the room for being black. (Just an old one I knew, not sure how common..)"

"What's a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer? Comet! =D"

"[On stage at comedy club] ""Doritos: 11 chips per serving"" *audience erupts in laughter* ""Oreos: 3 cookies per serving"" *audience loses it*"

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? The blonde keeps sucking after you slap her."

"What kind of wolf never runs? Steppenwolf"

"Carson: No it wasn't a friend it was a close family member. And I didn't stab her I froze her heart. ""Sir, that's the plot of Frozen."""

"My wife was stunned!!.. One day my wife and I were cuddling in bed when she said, ""Hon, You are so cozy""... I got offended and yelled back, ""Fuck you.. YOU are sarkozy""..."

"The best thing about the Earth is if you poke holes in it oil and gas come out."

"So i was talking to my friend who's a dyslexic philosopher And he says to me ""You know what, recently i've been wondering if there really is a dog"""

"Did you hear the one about the peanut who rode the subway? He was a salted. Sexually. He was a salted sexually. . . .there's nothing funny about that."