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Joke of the Day

"If I died and went straight to hell it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn't at work anymore."

"How long is a pedicure? 2 feet."

"What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Cuatro Sinko"

"A scientific joke Q: Why are Curium, Helium, and Barium the medical elements? A: Because if you can't Curium or Helium them, you Barium!"

"Farmer Brown put up a pig-shaped weather vane but he's not happy with it. Instead of pointing with the wind the pig vane keeps pointing toward the feed trough."

"Going to keep letting animals bite me until I get super powers."

"What's the difference between negligence and falling off of the empire state building? Nothing if you're a gorilla."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had long since succumbed to Stockholm syndrome and was actively engaging with their captors."

"This person told me ""When pigs fly I'll get my kid vaccinated!"" Alas, swine flu."

"A baby seal walks into a club.... ba dum bump - ting...."