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Joke of the Day

"A Physics Joke Atoms are very hard to entertain. Only if you approach them with exactly the right energy they get excited."

"Adele called her first albums 19 & 21 because they are numbers that have special importance to her life Her follow up 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510 is due out next month."

"Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool ? Because they couldn't hold their trunks up !"

"Whenever I'm alone, I like to dig a hole in my backyard, remove all my clothes, go inside that hole and pretend that I'm a carrot."

"UGH now I just painted an amazing picture but accidentally painted a thumb in the corner"

"My dream car is shaq wearing heelys holding me up by my hips like simba"

"How does Hitler tie his shoes? In little Nazis"

"A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos."

"My out-of-office voicemail greeting is just a solid three minutes of dry heaving."

"Guys that try and pick up girls on Facebook are pathetic.. Girls, if you agree message me your number so we can talk about it."