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Joke of the Day

"On my way to the mall yesterday I passed the Big & Tall Men's clothing store. Outside the store a troop of Girl Scouts were selling cookies. I guess it really is location, location, location..."

"Today is the day I go back to the gym. Tomorrow is when I stop telling lies."

"What's the difference between pussy and parsley? Who the fuck eats parsley?"

"[jokes allowed]Giant methane storms on Uranus Appereantly you can joke around in r/science [original link](http://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/2ybgx8/giant_methane_storms_on_uranus/) Here you go!"

"I'm not paranoid, but I feel like there's someone reading this..."

"A gardener fell from grace and forgot how she once was. So she went back to her roots."

"What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream? The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)"

"What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird"

"Ugly women are like men they both have to work for a living."

"A Japanese commander invites Darth Vader to dinner He asks him "" Will you be there tonight at 8 PM Lord Vader?"" Vader says "" I hope so commander, for your sake ""."