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Joke of the Day

"NICK CANNON: hello and welcome to america's got talent HAWK: [hiding his talons behind his back] i misunderstood the title of this show"

"WIFE: So, is Elon Musk an alien from another galaxy? ME: Nah, an alien would have a name made of random human sounds. Wait"

"Great, iTunes terms and conditions has changed and my attorney is on vacation. Just perfect."

"Always remember you're someones reason to smile Because youre a joke"

"THE GREATEST JOKE OF ALL TIME YOU..."

"'I'm not going to school today' Alexander said to his mother. 'The teachers bully me and the boys in my class don't like me.' 'Why ?' 'Firstly you're 35 years old. Secondly you're the principal.'"

"How does Kendall Jenner celebrate Father's Day? She doesn't."

"Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine? Because they'd been floored by his punch."

"What did the octopus make for desert? ...Octopie"

"How many cops does it take to push a man down the stairs? None, he fell."