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Joke of the Day

"I like to think that T.J. Maxx is what happens when Office Max takes off his tie and slips on a pair of shades."

"What do you call a grammatical rendezvous? accommadate I hate me for this.."

"SWJ goes to the laundromat . . . . . . . . and is appalled by everybody being ok with separating whites from coloreds."

"A dad walks into a room seeing his daughter masterbating with a cucumber. He said: ""I was gonna eat that, now it taste like cucumber"""

"A young blonde, leaving home for a one week visit to New York, was told by her mother to put on clean socks every day. By the end of the week she couldn't get her shoes on."

"What's the difference between an egg and a root? You can beat a good egg"

"Don't tell me you love weddings, you love open bars."

"Adam and Eve... were the first people to not read Apple's terms and conditions."

"Sometimes I like to pet another dog while making eye contact with my dog. Adds just the right amount of tension to our relationship."

"What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."