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Joke of the Day
"Ego and Super Ego walk into a bar. Bartender says, ""I'm going to need to see some Id."""
Next Joke
"I introduced my girlfriend to the family Me: hello everyone, meet Jasmine Jasmine: Hi Wife: what the fuck"
"I saw a beautiful pumpkin today... It was gourdeous."
"[Wife finds me crying on kitchen floor] Me: I fell & spilled honey on myself. Wife: Me: Will you ki Wife: I'm not kissing your Honey Boo Boo"
"Riding in the car with a chiropractor... ... when he clearly takes the wrong exit. I ask why and he says... ""I'm not driving us under there! You wanna get carpool tunnel syndrome!?"""
"A chicken and an egg are lying in bed The chicken, smoking a cigarette, turns to the egg and says, ""Well, I guess we answered that question."""
"Remember the guy who lost his left side? He's *alright* now"
"[Shipwreck Diary] Day 29: worried I'm losing track of time Day 4: nope. I'm fine"
"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar Don't worry you'll soon change !"
"I have a friend named Tim who is dyslexic and shares too much. We call him Tmi."