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Joke of the Day

"I complimented my chemistry professor, who's from Germany, ""Sir, you're so effervescent."" He replied, ""Did you effer see me when I effer vasn't?"""

"What do you call a man with three arms and a pegleg? I have no idea because the actual joke is always in the comments."

"What is the biggest plot twist in spanish soap operas? When Rodrigo finds out he is his own mother"

"A Limbo Champion Walks Into a Bar. He loses his title."

"How do Astronauts screw in a lightbulb? They don't: They screw in a vacuum."

"I wanna join a gang so I can get in a street fight with a rival gang and intimidatingly snap my fingers to a clever song about friendship."

"I've compiled a list of famous athletes who have spent time in prison. It's a pros and cons list."

"You'll sleep when you're dead?...that's adorable. Well, I'll lose weight when I'm dead, so pass the doughnuts."

"What did the blonde do when she discovered that most accidents happen within a mile from home? She moved."

"""You do realize it's a crime to lie in court, right?"" *I think for a moment and then move my hands closer together*"