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Joke of the Day

"Then outermost layer of your skin is mostly dead cells, so congratulations you're dead on the outside as well as the inside."

"Need Help with a prank I stole a co-workers pen the other day, (really nice pen) as a joke. I want to send them a ransome letter. Can anyone help me out? Thanks"

"A zombie jumped out at me, in a haunted house, but he didn't scare me. He did, however, catch my elbow in his face."

"What is brown and sticky? A stick...."

"What do you call an eerie French pastry chef? A crepe."

"Most of my friendships are based on if we watch the same TV shows."

"A fellow peon told me he loved kids, you can't beat them i said you can but it's generally frowned upon."

"What do you call man with.. What do you call man with a rucksack on his back and salt and pepper on his head? A seasoned traveller."

"Torn this election season. I think it would be awesome to have the first woman president. But I'm also curious about the apocalypse."

"I swallowed a live bee the other day It turned into quite an intra-sting situation."