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Joke of the Day

"When the police officer asks how much have I had to drink tonight- 'all of it' wasn't as funny to him as it was to me."

"What do you call someone with spasms and bladder problems? A twitch streamer."

"My girlfriend's keyboard broke, and she sent me this message. ""HelpmyspacebarisbrokenandIwouldlikeanalternative"" What the hell is a ternative?"

"Did you hear about the band Kansas getting arrested for kidnapping at the airport? They tried to carry-on my wayward son."

"A gay man walked up behind me at the bar He asked to push in my stool"

"Those men drinking battery acid Will soon be charged"

"Q: Where do cows go on Friday nights? A: To the moovies."

"If you're wondering at what age you'll stop messing up your life know that it's not 40 and apparently not 50 either."

"I am holding a pre-mature ejaculation club meeting next week Needless to say, You need to come early"

"My friend got a tattoo of his wife's name so I guess he loves her as much as he loves barbed wire."