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Joke of the Day

"Turns out the ""Mac"" guy from those ""Mac and PC"" commercials is an avid Windows supporter. What a Long con."

"A 5-year old boy approaches his father saying, ""Dad, I know the woman I want to marry."" ""Oh yeah, who is it?"" He replies, ""Grandmaw."" ""You can't marry my mother!"" ""Why not? YOU MARRIED MINE!"""

"What does Samuel Jackson say when he is mugging you? What's in your wallet?"

"A woman asked me how I view lesbianism the other day... Apparently ""in HD"" was not an acceptable answer."

"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in the fruit salad."

"A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: ""Fuck off, you won't bring it back."""

"I got my dog vaccinated... ...I think she might have paw-tisim now."

"Waiter: These are the best eggs we've had for years. Diner: Well bring me some you haven't had around for that long."

"why do gorillas have such big nostrils? because they have big fingers"

"Whites are just like Asians, but with a cock"