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Joke of the Day

"When the nun comes around to collect the offerings, I shell out a handful of change and a cucumber then give her a wink and a thumbs up."

"Friendship Application, Question One: If you see that my selfie has 0 likes, will you like it faster than humanly possible?"

"I probably shouldn't have done ecstasy before work but oh my god the HR lady feels sooooo nice"

"Pamela Anderson turns 43 today but her tits are barely old enough to buy a drink in this city."

"A man walks into a doctor's office completely naked except he's wrapped in saran wrap... The doctor takes one look at him and says ""I can clearly see your nuts."""

"Dear Parents, Don't tell your little girl ""He's only mean to you because he likes you."" and wonder why she only dates assholes when she's older."

"Q: What do you call a spooky waterway? A: The Eerie Canal."

"Why didn't the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!"

"I think having a highway to Hell and only a stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers."

"What comes after a farting competition? Farty!"