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Joke of the Day

"New genetics study shows that chronic diarrhea may be hereditary It runs in your jeans."

"[interview] HIM: have u ever bribed anyone? ME: *pulls a package of OREO's from briefcase and slides across table* depends on who's asking"

"Waiter are there snails on the menu ! Yes sir they must have escaped from the kitchen !"

"I just went to the apple orchard with my girlfriend... My only complaint was I didn't get to be in cider."

"another car tip: once a month, open the hood and rip out one thing. most of the engine is decorative and weighs down your car"

"How to piss off an archeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him to determine the period."

"How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of Caesars."

"What did the triangle say to the preacher? Forgive me father for I have sin()."

"What do you call a Frenchman with eleven penises? Jean Cocteau"

"I'm going to put my limbs into each corner of a fitted sheet and attempt to become a sugar glider."