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Joke of the Day

"I seem to have this constant stream of bugs trying to hang me. They're really quite the noose ants."

"A girl recognised me This girl said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore."

"People who say they don't have any problems are lying to you, but at least give them credit for not telling you about them."

"Missed connection: She wanted classy and I thought she said gassy..."

"What is 6.9? A very good moment ruined by a period."

"I like birthdays but I think too many can kill you"

"Morning! I was walking through a graveyard yesterday morning, and saw a guy crouched down behind a grave stone. ""Morning!"" I shouted. ""Nah, just taking a shit!"" He responded."

"What did Helen Keller say when she fell off the cliff? Nothing, she had her mittens on."

"I can't stop watching myself on this Walgreens surveillance monitor. Crazy how the camera adds 40 pounds and a limp!"

"Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt? Yes the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!"