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Joke of the Day

"Why does the Earth love geologists? They really get it's rocks off"

"Trying to nurture my inner bully to stay motivated. So far, all I've succeeded in doing is stealing my own lunch money."

"Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind someone on a stationary bike and pretend you're angrily chasing them."

"You're all great. Or suck. Actually I'm going to need you to sort yourselves into two orderly rows."

"So I was drinking this vampire's blood the other day It was irony."

"My new girlfriend asked me how I felt about kids. With my hands was apparently not the right answer."

"A bear and a rabbit are both taking a shit in the woods The bear says, ""Do you have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?"" Rabbit: ""No, not at all."" So the bear wipes himself with the rabbit."

"A man with three balls goes to another random guy and tells him: ""you know that together we have 5 balls?"" and the guy replies: ""why, you have only one?"""

"It must be pretty bad being the wife of a suicide bomber... Because if they come home after work, they've had a bad day."

"A penny saved... ... is 350 Trillion Zimbabwe dollars earned!"