220686
Joke of the Day
"I hate listening to music during sex... There honestly aren't many good 30 second songs out there."
Next Joke
"We're hosting a charity event for the people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't come, do let me know."
"Before you criticize someone.. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."
"something that I miss about being a child is people asking me what my favourite shape is. adults don't do this.it's a rhombus. u don't care"
"The crossed eyed teacher... ...had trouble controling his pupils."
"I'm really not sure how many times I'll search for my phone with the flashlight on my phone before I realize I'm an idiot...."
"How does Ellen DeGeneres fire an arrow? With her Les-bow."
"Guy getting on elevator in my office building.."" Going Down?"" Me: ""No, but I've got time for a hug"""
"What's the difference between three dicks and a joke? Your momma can't take a joke."
"[first date] Me: that is hilarious Date: ... Me: wait, bread or dead? Date: how would my parents be bread?"