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Joke of the Day

"How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with, ""A man once told me..."""

"Anyone know any good HP Lovecraft jokes? I only know a few Old Ones."

"If a mentally challenged midget is late to an appointment... ... can you justifiably call them ""a little tardy""?"

"I hate being happy because it makes my tweets suck."

"Ugh, I hate wearing this towel while my wife washes my cape."

"I still don't understand how finishing my food is going to save a starving child in Africa."

"I'll tell you what's wrong with modern society. Nobody ever drinks out of the skulls of their enemies anymore."

"I went to one of those colleges where you can make up your own degree... I ended up with a major in paedophilia and a minor in the back of my van."

"How fast can a woman fuck? 68km/h, because at 69 she flips over and blows a rod."

"Last year I got so hammered on Good Friday I woke up in a cave three days later"