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Joke of the Day

"I hate when I take a nap on a park bench and everyone assumes I homeless. People with houses get tired, too."

"You hear the one about the sexually adventurous Eskimo? You name it, he was Inuit!"

"I heard there was a bombing in Times Square. But it was just Mariah."

"What do you call a chubby girl who's cranky, has bad breath and doesn't screw? You don't call her."

"Furniture salesperson: Do you see anything you like? Waldo: Actually yes this red and white couch is quite nice."

"How to spot a douchebag in the gym? Really bad so he hurts himself."

"What's the difference between life and a prostitute? You have to pay a prostitute to fuck you"

"A family of ducks walks into a church. ""Hi, yes, umm...I hear you have a man who turned his body into bread?"" The father asks timidly."

"Why did Peter Parker get fired? He spent all day on the web."

"Ghost pirate What did the pirate's ghost say to his girlfriend? I love your Boo-ty"