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Joke of the Day

"I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they're 21."

"How does every racist joke start? By looking over your shoulder."

"There was a spider in my bathtub so I got a tissue and very carefully burned the house down."

"Why did the Death Star hire a lot of football players from Thailand? Because they needed more Thai Interceptors!"

"My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I'm suspicious that I'm up to something i dont want myself to know about."

"At last, a herb related joke It's about thyme"

"Have you ever met a fractal? They're so conceited. I mean, they're so full of themselves."

"I realized I needed an altitude adjustment... ...so I booked the next flight out of town."

"[Very Racist] What is the difference between a black person and a bench? One can support a family of four."

"I think High School birth control classes should just be forcing the students to watch videos of me taking my 3 kids to the grocery store"