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Joke of the Day

"I've been watching women's volleyball and there has already been an injury... But I'll be ok by monday."

"Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels."

"What do you call the people that always are around musicians? bass players."

"Turns out I'm addicted to refigerated poultry. I've gotta quit cold turkey."

"Why do american bears have forelimbs? They have the right to bear arms"

"A gardener fell from grace and forgot how she once was. So she went back to her roots."

"What did the Australian sea captain announce when he decided to wank with both arms? All hands on deck"

"""I hope she got fat, I hope she got fat"" - me looking up an ex girlfriend on Facebook."

"Did you hear about the fly on the toilet seat? It was Saturn by Uranus."

"I get in this weird mood where I don't want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood Awake'"