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Joke of the Day

"KIDNAPPER: Get in the trunk ME: You're abducting me 4 days before Christmas? K: Heh yep ME: Omg thank you K: What ME: I'm all yours K: Wait"

"How do you increase a pirates morale? mor ale"

"Enjoying Starbucks' free WiFi with my MacBook and flannel shirt while listening to a band you've probably never heard of."

"What did the penis say to the condom? **""Cover me! I'm going in!""**"

"some say yer mom reminds em' of a tornado sounds like hell when she comes, took my house when she left"

"How many redditors does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but an extra 15 to repost."

"Nobody deserves to look that peaceful sleeping. SLAP."

"What's the difference between batman and a black person? Batman can go to the store without robin'"

"What do you call it when a Cat wins a Dogshow? Cat-has-trophy. Such punny. Much Cringe."

"Kylo Ren used to complain his parents were passive aggressive. Well, boo hoo. My dad was actively aggressive. Just ask my hand."