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Joke of the Day

"yo mama so fat she has seat belts on the chairs to keep her fat from rolling off!!!!!!!!!"

"What did the lesbian mushroom say to the other lesbian mushroom during oral sex? Umami."

"Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out."

"When life gives you melons... ...you probably have dyslexia."

"What's a blonde's favorite color? A light shade of clear."

"there are some really great cocktails you can have when it gets cold. Gin and coffee, gin and hot water, microwaved gin, go nuts"

"Nuff said? No seriously, what did Nuff say?"

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Whithers."

"The hardest part about having a beard Washing the smell of pussy out of it everyday."

"Five years ago I asked the most beautiful girl in the world out on a date, today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."