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Joke of the Day
"How do you start a Mexican bedtime story? Juans upon a time."
Next Joke
"Ladies: this giant sunglasses shit needs to stop. I can't tell you how pretty you are when you have a goddamn Millennium Falcon on each eye."
"Which dance will a chicken not do ? The foxtrot !"
"What sexual position do you use to make an ugly baby? Go ask your mom"
"Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job"
"how do you think the unthinkable? with an ithberg!"
"Anal sex is like broccoli If you're forced to have it as a kid, yo won't enjoy it as an adult."
"Yesterday I saw a girl driving next to me while texting on her phone... I was so disgusted by her irresponsible driving that I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her."
"If you ever feel silly for being on Twitter just remember there are people on national television asking ""ghosts"" questions."
"What do you call a mobile homes for rabbits? Wheelburrows!"