21992
Joke of the Day
"If I had a nickel for every existential crisis I've ever had.. Does money even matter ?"
Next Joke
"Dammit Dad Dad: ""Whaddya got there, son?"" Son: ""Soy milk."" Dad: -pauses- ""Hola milk, soy tu padre."""
"My wife told me her period was lasting several days longer than normal. I said, Sounds more like an ellipsis..."
"Drills are boring."
"Cars & sex -Hey Marc, I bet your sexlife is like your Ferrari! ""I don't have a Ferrari."" -That's what i mean."
"How do you get a fat girl into bed with you? A piece of cake"
"*sits 27 hours for an oil on canvas portrait* omg delete that. Bartholomew i'm serious do not fucking hang that in the Great Hall"
"What is it called when a hacker poops? Logging out"
"Remember back in the day when you'd call someone gay and it was an insult? Now a day, everybody is just so butthurt when you do..."
"Shouldn't you pet him first? Two guys are in a park and see a dog licking it's nuts. First Guy: ""Damn I wish I could do that"" Second Guy: ""Shouldn't you pet him first?"""