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Joke of the Day

"A month ago I gave my number to this beautiful girl. She said ""I will text you when I get home"". I think she's homeless."

"What does a lion at the beach have in common with Christmas? (as told by my first grade daughter) They both have Sandy Claws. BOOM!"

"A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. It's called Nacho Mama."

"Am I the only one that tests ""forever"" postage stamps by smothering them with a pillow?"

"My girlfriend is from another Nation. ImagiNATION"

"guy at work: ""good weekend?"" me: [in next toilet stall] ""please leave me alone"""

"Cum on guys, gay jokes are not funny."

"Why was the empty penis so scary? Because it was a hollow wiener (halloweener) [works better spoken - I think - just made it up in the shower]"

"I once new a guy that worked at a tool and die company... ...He was hit with a tool, and died"

"How many animals can fit into a pair of pantyhose? Ten pigs, two calves, one beaver, and an ass."