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Joke of the Day

"What does a lion at the beach have in common with Christmas? (as told by my first grade daughter) They both have Sandy Claws. BOOM!"

"Does anyone know if ISIS is hiring? I heard they offer new hires a company cell phone and/or car."

"What did the Jamaican Priest say to the Baker's rolls? You a cinnamon."

"There was a young couple having sex in the pool. I walked up to the lifeguard and said, ""Aren't you going to do anything?"" He said, ""I might have a wank if you leave me alone."""

"What do you call a redneck virgin? A 13 year old girl who runs faster than her older brothers."

"Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the best ingredients, you cruel bastards."

"Her: Are you even listening to me or are you just tweeting? Me: Yes sweetie, I hate her too."

"I heard that there were a couple of jokes in the Bible, so I went to look for one myself... I found one in Genesis, but it wasn't that funny; it was the oldest joke in the book."

"What does artificial light consist of? Fauxtons"

"There are bats hanging of a branch upside down all except one. Two bats comment: ""What's happened to this one? - I don't know two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted."