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Joke of the Day

"The awkward moment when people think you're drunk when in fact you're just a blast naturally."

"When does a black person become a nigger? As soon as he leaves the room."

"What do you call a crappy skin cream? DisappointmentTM"

"[2015 Bird Awards] AND THE AWARD FOR GROSSEST NAME GOES TO...HORNED GUAN (Lizard Buzzard quietly puts acceptance speech back in pocket)"

"How many koalas does it take to screw in a light bulb? Technically just one, as long as he's koalafied."

"[on date] HER: I cant see u anymore ME (hiding under table): lol I know H: no I mean I cant see u anymore M (still under table): lol I know"

"My dad always said, ""I before E expect after C"". Society taught me otherwise."

"What do you call two gay chickpeas? Hummusexuals."

"Saying Romney would handle the economy better is like saying ... ... one of your friends is ""good with women"" because he's a convicted rapist."

"I like my women like I like my wine... 18 years old and locked in my basement"