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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear the one about the three deep holes in the ground? Well, well, well..."
Next Joke
"Let's get a beer Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'"
"The problem with today's children is that today's grown-ups are idiots."
"Life caught me caring and punished me accordingly."
"Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. Also, no outside food, they are so strict about that."
"I was going to make a joke about a carp that had hands But it was too metacarpal."
"[on the phone with wife] Honey, who do you like better, Hulk Hogan or Jafar from Aladdin? ""Tell me why."" [winks at tattoo artist] No reason."
"me: what's ur favorite thing on the menu waiter: oh definitely the salmon me: oh yes ok i'll have the *orders something that is not salmon*"
"Since I installed adblock, my popularity with hot girls in my area has plummeted"
"Some people should be recalled."