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Joke of the Day

"me: what's ur favorite thing on the menu waiter: oh definitely the salmon me: oh yes ok i'll have the *orders something that is not salmon*"

"I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She told me that I have to stop jerking off. I asked, ""Why?"" She replied, ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""

"I hate feeling bad about feeling good about feeling bad."

"I told a joke about Hurricane Katrina the other day. It failed to make a splash."

"Baby seal So, a baby seal walks into a club... ... ..."

"The ISDS (Investor-State Dispute Settlement) clause of TTIP sounds so crazy that I begin to wonder: ISDS the real life? Or ISDS just fantasy?"

"Just ate a bag of jelly beans. Did you know if you eat a pineapple, a coconut, and a black one together, it tastes like pina colada asphalt?"

"A Blonde Jokes Two blondes (let's call them Tina and Julie) are talking. Tina: Did you know this New Year is on friday? Julie: OMG, I hope it's not on the 13th."

"When do women get to climb the corporate ladder? When it's time to clean the glass ceiling."

"When you're an Olympic-size slut, every day is an opening ceremony."