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Joke of the Day

"Job interview with the NSA Applicant: Would you like references? NSA: We have everything we need. App: You guys! NSA: I know, right!"

"If you ever decide to commit suicide by jumping from a building, the least you could do is wear a cape first."

"I hate Mexican jokes... They always cross the line."

"Admit it, at some point in your life, you stuck a ball up your shirt and pretended you were pregnant."

"What did the stamp say to the letter? Lick my ass and I'll take you places you've never been before."

"How does John Lennon get his kids to eat their vegetables? He tells them to ""Give Peas a Chance"""

"Old Macdonald had a really bad scrabble hand...... E - I - E - I - O....."

"What would you get if Geddy Lee, Neil Peart and Alex Lifeson all died in a plane crash? Take your time, there's no Rush..."

"My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It's called lunch."

"As a fat guy I never really have more pep in my step... But I do occasionally get a little more throttle in my waddle."