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Joke of the Day

"[Game&Chill] Replace any word in a movie tittle with ""fap"" (For example "" Fap to the Future"")"

"Growing up, I had a best friend. When we first met we didn't see eye to eye, but then he grew on me."

"""Isn't it strange how we were all once an egg?"" I told my wife. ""Well, grandpa still is,"" interrupted my son."

"Therapist: resentment is like drinking poison in the vain hope it makes your enemies sick Me: not if I'm banking on them eating my body"

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? He's black, so should be pretty easy to spot against the white background"

"Sup, ducks? Lookin' straight nuclear with your orange ass bills & your furry yellow torsos. All aquatic & shit. Lazy as hell, too. One love."

"Did you hear about the man who was to amputate a foot? They amputated the wrong one. Now they're both in a wheelchair."

"What is a Mexican's favorite Olympic event? Cross country"

"""Honey, can you bring me a roll of toilet paper?"" Toilet paper- ""I have a boyfriend"""

"Me: How was the party last night? 17: It was fun. The cops came. Me: What??? 17: Nah, it's cool. We got away. Me: That's my girl."