218688

Joke of the Day

"A Christian and an atheist walk into a bar. They proceed to have a few drinks and enjoy each other's company because they're not pretentious dicks."

"I NEED JOKES ABOUT TREES Don't ask questions, I just really need non-offensive tree jokes and fast! Thank you for your help!!!"

"I got fired today for arranging the vegetables in a sexually suggestive way Apparently that's ""unacceptable behavior for a special needs teacher""."

"Joseph and Mary are having a romp in the hay. Mary says, ""what if I get pregnant, what will I tell them?"" Joseph replies, ""you will think of something."""

"A hot girl goes to confession She says ""father, I had sex out of wedlock"" The priest says ""pics or it didn't happen"""

"My favorite prostitute told me she was a licensed psychologist... Blew my mind."

"That awkward moment when your kindness is mistaken with flirting."

"What's a young monkey's favorite time of the school day? Rhesus."

"Now I know why they call her ""head nurse"" It's because she is in charge of the other nurses...not what I was hoping for."

"Direct quote from my daughter: ""I know horses can play soccer really well because they're fast."" Thank god she's pretty."