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Joke of the Day
"What's Forrest Gumps password? 1forrest1"
Next Joke
"How much weed is the appropriate amount to give as a gift at a baby shower?"
"I said to my girlfriend, ""Please get me a newspaper."" ""Don't be silly,"" she replied, ""you can borrow my iPad."" That spider never knew what fucking hit it."
"Why do Scotsmen screw their sheep by the side of a cliff? Because they push back harder."
"I spend like $600 every month on free trials for stuff I forgot to cancel."
"I'm watching my 4 year old son give my 1 year old a hammer. He is so irresponsible."
"Trump wants to ban Muslims but if we learned anything from Prohibition it's that people will just make Muslims in their bathtubs."
"Jewish guy goes to his rabbi . . . . . . he asks, ""I don't get it. If we're the chosen people, why did God make the goys?"" The rabbi shrugs and say, ""Hey . . . somebody's gotta pay retail."""
"My own personal hell sounds great, actually"
"Wearing Your Wedding! A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman."