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Joke of the Day

"Two Sausages are Frying in a Pan... ...And one of them says to the other, 'Fuck me, it's hot in here!', to which the other replies 'FUCK ME, *A TALKIN' SAUSAGE!!!*'"

"Where's the best place to weigh a pie? [*singing*] Some-where over the rain-bow... Weigh a pie."

"To that person who long, long ago, first looked at coffee beans and thought, ""You know, I bet I could make some kind of hot drink out of these things.""... I THANK YOU. VERY VERY MUCH."

"You don't really know someone until you get ridiculously drunk with them."

"How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it."

"ISIS ""Preventing the theft of unattended baggage since 1989"""

"Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because they were veloco*raptured*."

"Knock knock I can't believe you felt for it :)"

"A Jewish boy asks his father for 50 bucks. What the hell are you going to do with 30 dollars? Why do you want 10 dollars?"

"Why dont cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny."