218236

Joke of the Day

"Now I know why girls call me handsome If a threesome is with three, and a twosome is with two, now I know why they call me handsome :)"

"When I was about 8, my mom would play hide and go seek with me.. She was really good, too. Mom, where are you?"

"I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says ""Haha good one!"" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap"

"What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam!"

"A Florida police dog is being fired after biting two people; but to be fair, who wouldn't want to hurt people from Florida?"

"What's the difference between a clit and the mini bar in a hotel? Most men can find the mini bar in less than 3 minutes."

"I want to be elected president, learn the truth about aliens, and then resign."

"My son said he couldn't sleep last night because of the thunder. I feel bad for locking him out now."

"Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: ""Sir I have two openings for you...!"" I replied : Yes. I know There was a long silence and then she said..... bastard"

"Chivalry Is Dead They said chivalry is dead so I wanted to prove them wrong. I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, ""Asshole, I'm peeing in here!"""