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Joke of the Day

"I was chatting with a deaf person on omegle. He asked me ""ASL?""."

"Bono heated and cooled his vodka over and over, filtering it to try and get the perfect taste... But distill hasn't found what he's looking for."

"I answer private number calls with: ""Rent a Gent hello"""

"I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn't care..... Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0"

"Rick Astley is willing to let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, with one exception. He's never gonna give you Up."

"A teacher was fired for not letting kids out at the end of the day unless they gave her fresh coffee. It was grounds for dismissal."

"This election has been a bit like watching porn... The hype was fun but now it's over I'm disgusted by what I'm watching."

"I asked a chinese girl for her number... She replied ""sex! sex! sex!...Freeee sex tonight!"" I said ""wow"", then her friend said ""She means 6663629"""

"The son to his dad * Son - Dad at last i lost my virginity- * Dad -OH! so good son, i am proud of you, come on, sit here and tell me- * Son -I don't think i could sit for a while"

"I lost my dictionary today... I can't find the words to express how I feel."