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Joke of the Day

"""You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."" ""But after that I'm not responsible for any more room charges, correct?"""

"If we sneezed Windex instead of spit I bet my neighbors would be cool with me standing at their window."

"What did the one female tampon say to the other female tampon? Nothing. They're both stuck-up cunts."

"How to elephants talk to each other ? By 'elephone !"

"What's your favorite ""grosser than gross"" joke? Mine is hickey on a hemorrhoid."

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because the cops are just gonna beat the walls for being black."

"What do you call an ant sized villain? The *ant*agonist."

"What's the difference between an introverted physicist and an extroverted physicist? An extroverted physicist looks at *your* shoes when they're talking to you."

"[magic school bus] KID: where are we going today MS. FRIZZLE: the zoo KID: but last week we went to SPACE MS. FRIZZLE: im hungover, children"

"Did you hear about the argument between a fire and the sun? It got really heated."