217755
Joke of the Day
"My friend is a midget... I hold it over her head literally all the time."
Next Joke
"Whats the difference between a woman and a computer? A woman doesn't accept 3 1/2 inch floppies"
"It's widely known that some members of a prison population become well-read and crafty with words. Sometimes you can mix prose with cons."
"Husband Wife Funny Wife: ""What are you doing?"" Husband : Nothing. Wife : ""Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."" Husband : ""I was looking for the expiration date."""
"How do you get a French girl pregnant? Cum in her shoe and let the flies do the rest."
"I forget... What's that Mexican dish called with rice, chicken, beans, guacamole, cheese and salsa?"
"To all the people who doubted me growing up: looks like you're gonna be right on this one. Well played."
"I bet the first gay Transformer will morph into a Prius."
"I'm offended every time I talk to a stranger and I'm not offered candy."
"If I were a superhero, I'd be Pizza Man. My one-liners would be cheesy, and I'd save you in 30 min or less, or your next criminal is free."