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Joke of the Day

"This nation really has gotten lazy, what with buying pre-shredded cheese and all. I think it's time to make America grate again."

"""Well, congrats. You're a homeowner now. Any questions?"" ""Yeah. Sam put those glasses on eBay, why didn't the Decepticons just bid on em?"""

"What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can't hear an enzyme!"

"Never tip a cow more than 15%."

"Why did Micheal Jackson want to be a camp counselor? He would give Merit Badges for pitching a tent."

"How do you tell how rich a black man is. By how many gold chains he has, how do you tell how rich a white man is? By how many slaves he has."

"What is Dwight Schrute's hometown? Nanda Parbeets."

"Reddit's telling me not to spoil the Star Wars movie for anyone... ... too bad my fantasies were already spoiled when Disney bought the rights."

"You're shoes are untied! April fools! Got ya!!"

"So my dog's pregnant & she's never been in contact with another dog & I'm having a lot of accusations thrown my way."