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Joke of the Day

"OMINOUS CHANTING *pentagram starts to glow* YES! RISE DARK LORD! RISE! *Satan tosses pillow through portal* UNGH 5 MORE MINUTES!!!"

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is a registered 6 offender"

"Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? To make up for a lousy summer."

"Just once, I'd like to open up my refrigerator and find cartoon versions of my favorite foods arguing over which one of them is healthier."

"""I'll have a rum and coke"" Is pepsi ok? ""Sure whatever"" *hands you a pepsi and coke*"

"""Be there in 5."" - liars"

"We have to break up. What? Why? It's not Staryu... it's Starmie."

"I'm a pedophile Just kidding"

"What's the difference between a boomerang and a train filled with Jews? The boomerang comes back."

"I like to point at pregnant women's bellies and ask ""makin a baby, huh?"". Then point to mine and say ""got some poop brewin over here""."