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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between healthcare.gov and Derrick Rose? Healthcare.gov was broken and now it works."

"What's red and smells like white paint? Red paint."

"What did the mom say when she found out her son was going to be a evil spy? Abort mission!"

"TIFU by getting my wife the wrong Subway sandwich Oops wrong sub"

"Drinking Light Beer is like going down on your sister.. it tastes the same, but just isn't right."

"Yesterday while I was talking with my girlfriend about Ebola, I asked her what she would do if I had Ebola... ""Ebola what, Cheerios?"" Best joke she's ever told"

"A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall down a cliff... Ba-Dumm-Tss"

"I'm hungry A boy walks up to his dad. ""Dad I'm hungry."" ""Hi hungry!"" ""Dad I'm serious."" ""I'm sorry serious, I thought you were hungry."" The boy then dies of hunger."

"Me: was I born with a mental disorder? Mom: did you iron a shirt while wearing it again Me: NO Mom: ? Me: I thought pants would be different"

"how can you tell if someone is vegan? Don't worry, they'll fucking tell you."