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Joke of the Day

"My garden shed door keeps opening and closing. Is it the wind? Yes. Am I going to tell my kids it's haunted so they stay out? Also yes."

"I wanted to have a threesome... but then i realized, if I wanted to disappoint two people at the same time I'd just have dinner with my parents."

"If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.."

"(NSFW) What do a girl's asshole and a 9 volt battery have in common? You know it's wrong, but eventually you have to put your tongue on it."

"Whats brown and sticky? My poster of rihanna."

"German for 'constipated'. farfrompoopin"

"How did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool."

"What do basic cave bitches wear? UGGA Boots"

"My friends recently got some copy of his grandfather's auschwitz diaries. They're a little brief though. Day 1: Showers"

"What did the dog say to the pig? You are just a bore."